Beautiful Disaster.

YTuesday, August 14, 2007
so many things have happened and i have so much to say..

like the project madness was really mad and its finally over. it sure as hell paid off.
we Aced all the projects..haha.but it still sucks, especially the fact that i can still get a BLOODY C. heh.

its not that important though..i'ma work real hard to get to University and rock it hard.heh.

im in love. madly. i found him and would like to stay being in love with him for good.

now i can officially announce the name out loud..its EDDIE! =)

my hot angel..the one who keeps me sane and alive.

i mean it when i tell you that i wana spend forever with you baby..

I'M YOURS. it ends with you..and i'll pray for our dreams to come true..

lemme take you through the pics..

its 10th march..the first time we laid eyes on each other..

then...after waiting for 5weeks and 2days filled with a mixture of zillions of emotions, we fell in love and have never regretted ever since..=)

then, we became this..the first time we played soccer together and literally sucked.
HAHA. i love you.

AND these are the people who went through it all with me during those tormenting weeks..
thanks guys for telling me to be patient.

and here we are...the loony idiots.HAHA.
love.love.love.

i'm brimming with so much love and life now..i wouldn't want it any other way.
i am satisfied.
_callous_ was here with you at 8:24 PM .

YThursday, May 24, 2007
confusion rids me off my sanity.
you put me in a spot that i cant get out of...
you are supposed to trust me and never question my love for you as a sister.
i am dumbfounded disappointed and ashamed at your childishness.

what am i to do to wake you up???
what am i to do to tell you that its never gona go back to how it was??
how can i wake you from your blind dream??
you've hurt me. but u're too consumed with your selfishness.

i dont know what more to say or do to make things right.

I"LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH.
_callous_ was here with you at 10:11 PM .

YTuesday, April 24, 2007
you make me feel a thousand beautiful things and despite all the challenges we are facing or have faced. i know that it is all good cuz i am and will face it all with you.

this is the life that i have been lookin for..i've asked you this and i'll ask you again..
"where have you been?"

like you said..we've come a long way together and things ARE gona be difficult for us.
i know that we will make it through..cuz we have each other. =)

you make me feel a thousand beautiful things and for that, i thank you.
for your love and your time..your patience.
most of all..for being you.

with love. <3
_callous_ was here with you at 11:43 AM .

YTuesday, March 20, 2007
u told me and asked if i could ride through the complications with you..
when you get back..
and hell. there are tonnes of complications.

but i have decided to take the plunge.

we are gona face this..and i cant wait for u to get back.
heck. i miss you.

5 weeks...i cant wait to see your name on the screen as my hp beep.

i hope hope hope....u'll take the plunge with me.

cuz we all noe..everything good involves tonnes of risk.

miss you soldier. =)
_callous_ was here with you at 2:32 PM .

YMonday, February 12, 2007
shouldn't life be beautiful..wonderful..meaningful..??

heh.

bollocks. what he said is true, i am a true definition of a Beautiful Disaster.
and i am amazed to why he still wana stay and stick with me till im ready regardless of the bad shitless things that i told him. damned. u got me weirded out by what u say.
im confused to why u'd want to waste ur time waiting for a girl who's already numbed?
someday we'll know.

and someday i hope u'll know how dumb it is to wait for me. cuz im just a waste of your time.
you have everything, why me?

zack knows that there's a long list of bad points to describe me.
which is also equivalent to "a waste of time"..
so come on..u can just move on and stop wasting ur time waiting for me.

cuz i was hurt by the past, and the past got me numbed.

yes..i guess i now know why you're calling me a Beautiful Disaster.
cuz i am disastrous.
maybe one day..u'll realise that i am doing u a favour.

life should be beautiful meaningful and wonderful for you..
but it doesnt have to include me in it.

i dont know what's wrong with me. i dont know why i cant be what u want me to be.
maybe im still holding on to somthing else.
i don't know..till i figure myself out,
don't waste your time..waiting in vain.

just don't waste your time doing what u do.

i do treasure having you..but not the way u want me to.

Labels: just dont.

_callous_ was here with you at 3:46 AM .